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Mary's Journal: October 14

First I want to apologized to all who have called or e-mailed me without a response.

During this past week I was in bed with tremendous pain in one tooth. Here I have been dealing with cancer and it is a tooth ache that lays me flat.

Friday and Saturday weren't too bad. I could function a bit with the pain in my head. I went to a dentist Saturday morning, who told me I would need to wait to see an endodontist but at least gave me an antibiotic.

By Sunday I couldn't do a thing. I was taking Vicodin for pain and it was only helping me a little.

Monday went to the endodontist, Dr Sunil, only to be told I need to wait four more days because of the Coumadin I was taking before they could do any real work. Went home with a stronger antibiotic. I also had an appointment with Radio Therapy for "simulation" or setting my up for radiation. I laid as still as I could with my tooth throbbing. Even had to ask the tech if she could dig some medication out of my purse during the procedure. I now have tattoos to carry with me, dots they use to line me up with the radio machine. The world can now see exactly where the cancer was.

Tuesday I couldn't stand the pain in my mouth any longer and called Dr. Sunil. He told me to come in. Without any pain medication (because of the Coumadin) he drilled a hole in my tooth. He acted like I should be feeling wonderful, I wasn't. I left the office in as much pain (and more stressed because of the drill process) than when I came. I was wondering why I had let him do this. I was beginning to think this was just torture. Fell into bed at home and prayed for sleep and time to pass. Two hours later I felt something in the tissue at the base of my tooth, followed by a sudden drainage through the hole left by Dr. Sunil. Suddenly, like a miracle, the pain was gone. I don't mean lessened.........GONE. I ran downstairs jumping up and down (because I could with out pain), telling everyone how great I felt. Yippee! I tell you, "I would rather go through child birth any day than to go through this.

Wednesday. The first "good" day since Friday!

Thursday I began Radiation. This is more unnerving to me than Chemo. I keep hearing it is nothing in comparison. I think what scares me is risks and not knowing what will happen in the future as a result. One that strikes me the most is that I could have a lingering, dry, nonproductive cough (as they call it). That is what I began this process with in May. I have been enjoying the months of being able to go to church without feeling I am disturbing it with me cough. Since I know what it is to live with that I am not excited to be going back to that. I am told I will develop this cough during the coarse of treatment but it will probably go away a couple of months after treatment ends. It could last a lifetime. It is the not knowing that is hard for me. With Chemo I could tell more how it was affecting me. Radiation is silently doing something, I can't tell what.

As you pray remember Doug. He has been doing a good bit of double duty. I couldn't ask for a more wonderful husband. He even held my hand as Dr. Sunil drilled my teeth. Now is that commitment or what? Pray for peace for us all.

In His Care,

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